He lays in bed with a mouth thermometer he heated with his desk-lamp.) I swear to God I'm sick. That damn Sasquatch! Billy Madison : (Faking being sick so he can skip school.
The ass a butt billy madison script pdf#
Yuck! It's POOP again! I'll get you damn kids for this! You're all gonna die!!īilly Madison Script Pdf File Dialogue Veronica Vaughn: Who would steal 30 bagged lunches? (cut to show the bus driver, Jack and Frank eating the kids' lunches) Old Lady: I'll tell you who took those lunches.Don't tell me my business, devil woman! Call the fire department this one's out of control!.I'll do each grade in 2 weeks, take the test, re-graduate, prove to you i'm not a idiot, and i get to take over Madison Hotels. Alright you got it 1st grade through 12th grade all over again.You, me, Jack and Frank are gonna go around Putting shit on people's doorsteps and we gonna sets it on fire!.(to high-school classmate) No, I will not make out with you!.(at dodgeball period) Now you're all in big, big trouble!.Uh, Dad, do we have to discuss this with Captain Dipshit here?.(menacingly) O'Doyle, I got a feeling your whole family is going' down.Chlorophyll?! More like BORE-O-PHYLL! Right?.(after Ernie hangs up the phone) YOU BLEW IT!!.You ain't cool, unless, you pee your pants! Everybody my age pee their pants it's the coolest!.(penguin waves at him) So sorry to interrupt! (turns to Veronica) Proceed! (after he hallucinates and sees the penguin at Veronica's house) (drunkenly) Oh.(waves the shampoo bottle as if it is talking) Shampoo is better I go on first and clean the hair! (waves the conditioner bottle to the same effect) Conditioner is better I leave the hair silky and smooth! (waves the shampoo bottle) Oh, really, fool?! (waves the conditioner bottle) Really! (he then makes the shampoo and conditioner bottle 'fight' each other before dropping both into the bathtub, then notices a golden swan-shaped faucet.) Stop lookin' at me, swan!.(bus approaches) Well, here goes nothin'. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don't get in a fight! Ohhhhhhhhh, back to school! Back to school. Back to school, to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool. You know I like Snack Pack, why can't you just GIVE ME A SNACK PACK?!?!.Is that it, Dad? Did the penguin tell you to do this?.Actually, I stole this shirt from Frank.That's quacktastic! Quack, quack, quack!.I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before, and to be honest with you, I wanted to see a blue duck.You got a responsibility.' If your dog is lost, you don't look for an hour then call it quits you get your ass out there and you find that fucking dog! That little boy's gotta think: 'You got a pet. He didn't put posters up or anything, he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. Lippy! The part in the story I don't like is that the little boy gave up looking for Happy after an hour. Two would include a buffalo, live or stuffed, preferably stuffed for safety's sake, and three, we bring back some of those ice cubes and switch it over to a pitching wedge.
One would involve some ice cubes and a nine iron. Well, I could think of three things I'd like to do.All the people at the zoo are real nice, Mr.It's too damn hot for a penguin to be walking around here.
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